СʪÃÃÊÓƵ

I’ve been thinking about the different ways in which I have dealt with anxiety throughout my life and on reflection, I realised that it began during my time at secondary school.

I was taking GCSE French and every time I thought about having to do the spoken part of the exam my heart rate would increase; my breathing would get shallow and my chest felt as though it was being crushed. To this day my anxiety physically manifests itself in my chest. This is common and many people say it feels like having a heart attack when they feel high levels of anxiety.

I was lucky to have supportive parents and when I emerged from my room in floods of tears and clutching my chest they managed to calm me down. They questioned me gently until I revealed my fears and they sorted with the school that I did not have to take French at GCSE.

When my anxiety became too much for me after I had left home, I started to overeat. I always kidded myself and others that I was fat and happy. But I wasn’t. I now had another thing to get anxious about, my weight.

Deciding to come to University as a mature student with no parental or spousal support was an enormous step to take. But I did the sums, found my passion, Education, and got a place at Brunel through clearing. Getting accepted onto the BA Education course at СʪÃÃÊÓƵ came with its challenges, as I wasn’t initially accepted. This was upsetting but I waited to see if there were any spaces in clearing, called СʪÃÃÊÓƵ and persuaded them that as a Mature student I had much to offer. Eventually, I was accepted and am currently in my second year on the BA Education degree programme and am proud to say I ‘m doing rather well!

But there were some difficult periods I had to overcome to get to this point. At the start of the second year, I found working part-time and studying too much. I started once more to have anxiety, stopped sleeping, had frequent chest pains and felt I was not doing well enough at Uni or at work. I rummaged in my tool kit, see what’s in there below, and realised that my studying was too important and so I gave up my job. But I had to still work but now I work for the Uni as a Student Ambassador. I pick my hours so if my workload is heavy I don’t work – simple! Oh and I love my new role it has increased my friendship group cos now I work with other students at Uni.

So when, as a young adult, I eventually found it within myself to deal with the underlying issues of my unhappiness and anxiety I found a number of ‘tools’ to keep in my ‘kit bag’ to help me live with anxiety and clinical depression. I would like to share them with you:

1. I started to talk to people about how I felt. And they listened.
2. I began to go to weight management classes and found a very supportive group. I lost 6 stone in weight. Since then it has fluctuated but never returned to where it was.
3. I eat foods to give me energy – I used to eat for comfort even though it made me feel uncomfortable!
4. I engaged with counselling and continue to dip in and out when I begin to feel overwhelmed. Brunel has given me access to their counsellors and having lost my father during my first year they have been invaluable.
5. I keep a reflective diary. By doing so I pick up on the warning signs of when anxiety is creeping up on me. My lecturer actually suggested that you keep just such a diary on my course, I am very pleased I listened to that advice.
6. I exercise – a gentle cycle or walk is a way for me to find peace within.
7. I set realistic expectations of myself. If I don’t meet them I reset them!
8. I take prescribed medication and have a supportive doctor.
9. I surround myself with positive people, those that drained my energy are kept at arm’s length and don’t take up too much of my time.

I really hope by sharing some of these thoughts and experiences that if any resonate then you too build yourself a ‘tool kit’.

Take care of yourself.